


wanna go up, much higher (so you can reach the sky)

by Anonymous



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Fluff, Lee Jeno & Na Jaemin Are Best Friends, M/M, Platonic Relationships, Trans Huang Ren Jun, Trans Lee Jeno, other members are mentioned, renhyuck if you squint, renjun has a short temper, renjun has ocd, renjun uses they/them pronouns, side nomin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:02:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27423910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: The five times Jeno thinks Renjun is a petty hoe and the one time he thinks they aren't so bad.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno
Kudos: 14
Collections: Anonymous





	wanna go up, much higher (so you can reach the sky)

**Author's Note:**

> this is long overdue!! im so sorry this took so long :(

1\. Cereal, with no milk, please!

Renjun was… weird, to say the least.

  
Jeno had realized that the older person had a short temper; they didn’t take shit from anybody, and often lashed out at people for absolutely no fucking reason. They cursed at Jeno a lot, and they would get mad at him for reasonable things – such as whenever he took too long in his showers, or whenever he used Renjun’s eyeliner and made a mess out of it – but they also screamed at him whenever he did so much as to just slightly touch them.

  
He didn’t get it. He didn’t try to get it, either, but curiosity got the best of him. Which is how he ended up sitting on his bed with his phone in hand as he thought about possible reasons for Renjun’s short temper and tsundere–like behavior.

  
Well, for one, it could be that they were bullied a lot as a child and grew up holding so much anger in, and when they finally became an adult, they started releasing it on other things and other people. Jeno wasn’t sure though, it was just an assumption he made based on the article he had read a little over a week ago while eating tortilla chips on a Sunday night. Speaking of chips, he’s craving some cheetos right now. He hasn’t eaten them in a while–

  
His thoughts were cut off by Renjun obnoxiously chewing on their cereal (Fruit Loops. With no milk. What the absolute fuck) from across the room. Jeno scrunched his nose up in disgust.

  
“Who the fuck eats cereal with no milk?” Jeno faked a gag. “They’re not chips.”

  
Renjun glared at him as they picked up a green fruit loop (Jeno had his gaze on Renjun's hand, he found that the older had painted their nails purple. Cute). “I do, bitch. Jump off my pink strap on.”

  
“I wasn’t on it in the first place, Ren.”

  
“Fuck off.”

  
Jeno stared at Renjun for a few moments. They were sitting criss cross on the floor, their laptop sitting in front of them as they typed away. Jeno vaguely remembered Renjun explaining to him that they were taking a new hobby in writing.

  
His eyes crossed to the blue bowl next to Renjun. Those Fruit Loops did look good…

  
“Renjun, can I have some–”

  
“You insulted me. Go away,”

  
Jeno huffed. He turned away from Renjun and let his eyes wander on the white bed sheets underneath him. He should probably change them to pink sometime. Or red. Or maybe even black. Fuck, why was making decisions so hard?

  
“Renjun, I’m sorry.”

  
Renjun huffs. “It’s okay.”

  
“Can I have some no-”

  
“No, Jeno! You insulted me, remember?!”

  
In conclusion, Renjun's a petty hoe.

2\. Pink nail polish. Or maybe baby blue?

  
“–Right, so anyways, do you want pink or baby blue?”

  
Jeno blinked.

  
“I, um. I… what.”

  
Renjun scoffed, lightly smacking the younger’s forehead. “Which fucking color of nail polish do you want, dummy?!”

  
Jeno looks at the small bottles in Renjun’s left hand, pink and blue separated by their index and middle fingers. Which… says a lot, because Renjun’s hand was the size of one of those mini water bottles and Jeno was sure there was no way they could fit two glass nail polish bottles in one hand.

  
He thinks over his decision. His favorite color was blue, reminded him of the ocean, but the pink really reminded him of his childhood best friend (Na Jaemin! Wonderful guy.) and he loved both of those things, so you can imagine how hard it was for Jeno to pick. He purses his lips, staring at Renjun’s long, violet colored nails. They looked sharp. Scratch that, they were sharp. Jeno remembers the feeling of getting pinched by Renjun. He had bruises for days.

  
Anyways, what was he doing? Oh, that’s right. Baby blue or pink… 

  
“Blue,” Jeno decides, and Renjun just nods. “Give me your hand.”

  
Jeno cocks an eyebrow. “Which one?” He immediately regrets his words, though, because the look Renjun gives him is enough to make him break out in a cold sweat.

  
“Either one, smartass! God, you’re so fucking annoying.”

  
“Hey, don’t use The Lord’s name in vain.”

  
“Jeno, we’re atheists.”

  
Jeno rolls his eyes. Of course they’re atheists, both of them, he already knows that. But Renjun doesn’t seem to understand sarcasm sometimes (despite their large use of it), and Jeno respected that, so he doesn’t comment on it.

  
He watches as Renjun opens the bottle of blue up, their small hand holding Jeno’s larger one, and starts to apply a thin coat of blue polish onto his index finger’s nail. They don’t speak – And neither does Jeno, because he realizes that Renjun is hyper focused and he knows Renjun struggles with making things as perfect as they can, so he settles for keeping his mouth shut and preventing himself from accidentally saying something offensive.

  
He can’t move. He can’t. If he does move, it’ll just end in Renjun smacking him away and messing up. Jeno tries to stay still – he really does – but the polish is cold against his fingernails and the house is cold enough already, so staying still turns out to be quite a hard task.

  
He tries convincing himself that it isn’t hard to stay still. No, it’s not hard to stay still. It’s not. It’s no–

  
“Christ, Lee Jeno!” Renjun loudly exclaims, and Jeno hisses from the cold liquid touching the back of his hand.

  
Well, the silence was nice while it lasted.

  
“God damn it. Wait, hold on, I’ll go get some wipes,” Renjun gets up abruptly, walking out of the room. Jeno stares at the blue, sparkly liquid on his hand, and he shudders from both the coldness of the liquid and the stench that comes with it. It doesn’t smell bad, per se, but it doesn’t necessarily smell… good, either.

  
His phone buzzes from where it was in his pocket. Jeno hesitantly takes it out, unlocks it, and checks the text Jaemin had left in their groupchat. 

  
no ! ren ! min!

nana.min

sup fuckers

  
Jeno cringes at his friend’s choice of words, but decides to text back anyways.

  
J3NCIT.IES

hi

underpluto

Hi

nana.min

r u guys free 2nite

underpluto

jaemin, stop texting like that. my mind can’t process the words correctly

nana.min

fine  
are you guys free tonight

J3NCIT.IES

yes why

nana.min

so i can come over

underpluto

we’re kinda busy with nail polish but ok go ahead

nana.min

BITCH I WANNA GET MA NAILS DONE TOO

underpluto

no <3

J3NCIT.IES

RENJUN PLSRHSJFHHD

underpluto

???

J3NCIT.IES

oml  
forget it

underpluto

k.

  
Jeno rolls his eyes. Renjun only uses “k” when they’re offended, which means Jeno must’ve done something to piss them off again.

  
nana.min

rj y r u so moody 2day

underpluto

hm?

  
Jeno groans. In frustration, he yells, “Petty hoe!”

  
Let’s just say Renjun came back with a sandal (haha chancla) and a paper towel in their hand, running after Jeno as they shout loud cursings under their breath.

  
3\. At least you know what I go through.

  
“Jeno,” Renjun calls, standing in the doorway of Jeno’s room as they watch the younger fix his blonde hair. “Have you seen my binder?”

  
“Mh. No,” Jeno nonchalantly states, too busy with the stubborn strand of hair that continues to stand up even after the many layers of gel Jeno had put on himself. He hears Renjun scoff. “Are you even listening to me?”

  
“Mmm… No, not really.”

  
“Fuck you.”

  
Renjun walks out, off to the kitchen or something. Probably. Jeno’s not sure. He doesn’t really mind at first, continuing to push his hair down as some random song (Big Shoes by Eyedress. niceee) plays faintly in the background. It’s not exactly loud, but it isn’t quiet either. It’s definitely quiet enough to hear Renjun groan in frustration, though.

  
Normally, Jeno would’ve ignored it and continued with whatever he was doing, but the way Renjun groaned told him that there was something more than just losing their binder that was making the small writer pissed. He would know. He’s been friends with Renjun since his high school days, for God’s sake!

  
Anyways. Renjun was clearly pissed off for a better reason. Not like losing your binder wasn’t a valid reason to get pissed over, but Renjun didn’t look like the type to use a binder on themself. Then again, what did Jeno know? He wasn’t them. He settles with the fact that any reason is a valid reason to get mad over (at least, for Renjun it is), so he gets up and exits his room.

  
“Renjun,” Jeno calls, and Renjun groans loudly in response. “What do you want.”

  
(It was more of a way to say “go away” than a question.)

  
“What’s wrong?” Jeno sat next to them on the couch. “You’re clearly not okay. It’s kind of worrying, to be honest.”

  
Renjun makes a face. “Kind of?”

  
“Oh, sorry. I meant it doesn’t bother me at all. I couldn’t give any fucks!”

  
Renjun smacks him on the forehead, and he winces and yelps before falling back into place. Renjun has their hands folded, hunching their back and looking down at the floor. Jeno can’t see their face that way, instead he’s met with the writer’s soft lilac hair. He hears a sigh, and he takes that as a sign to shut his mouth and listen to the older.

  
“I hate this,” Renjun picks at their skin lightly. “It’s so hard, because I have to wake up and look down to two… very small, um. These. Yeah.”

  
Jeno nods, even though Renjun can’t see him. “I know, Ren. It’s frustrating,” He looks down at his feet. Renjun sighs again. “At least you know what I go through,” they shyly say.

  
Jeno smiles, and Renjun finally looks up at him. They smile back. The song that’s playing now alarms Jeno (Cocaine Sunday ey) because of it’s dull sound, but he shrugs it off.

  
“Are you sure you haven’t seen my binder, though?”

  
“I’m sure, Renjun.”

  
“Damn it.”

  
4\. Your behavior is so… Ugh!

  
Several hours later (after Jaemin had forced his way inside the house), Jeno found himself in the midst of Renjun and Jaemin’s horrid cover of love4eva. Well, only horrid on Jaemin’s behalf (no offense Nana). Renjun was a deity in singing.

  
They eventually settled down, random music now playing in the back, which Jeno didn’t mind at first, but then Girl Front started playing and he wasn’t ready for the loud retellings of their old high school days. Apparently, neither was Jaemin, because the youngest of the three immediately covered his face with his hands. Renjun gasped loudly.

  
“Holy shit, Jaemin! Do you hear that?”

  
Jaemin groans an exasperated “yes,” and Jeno sort of– No, scratch that. He felt bad for Jaemin, partially because he sounded so tired (teacher things.) and partially because he knew how embarrassed he was.

  
“Please don’t remind me,” Jaemin begs, and Renjun snickers before continuing to talk.

  
“You remember when Mark Lee, quote unquote, the hottest sophomore – and your long time crush – in our school walked in on you dancing to this song?” Renjun cackles, “He didn’t talk to you for days after that!”

  
Jeno scrunches his nose at the countless memories of Jaemin crying to him because of how embarrassed he was from Mark Lee catching him dancing and scream-singing to a pop song. The second hand embarrassment was real. Almost too real, to be exact.

  
“I hate you,” Jaemin hisses, grabbing a nearby pillow to throw it at Renjun. “I hate you so much!”

  
Jeno’s eyes widened in anticipation. Clearly, Jaemin should’ve thought twice about his choices, because the look on Renjun’s face was way too calm for someone who just got hit with a pillow. They stared straight at Jaemin, eyes blank and brows peacefully resting.

  
Renjun inhaled. Slowly, they let out a deep breath, and Jeno winces before anything even happens.

  
“I’m gonna kill him,” Renjun says. “I’m gonna fucking kill him!”

  
“Oh shit–”

  
Renjun lunges at Jaemin, their fingernails clawing at his skin, as Jaemin screeches and lets out multiple “ow!”s. Jeno holds onto Renjun, trying to hold them back from nearly killing Jaemin. He pulls the shorter back, and it takes a while for Renjun to calm down.

  
Even when they do calm down, they still glare at Jaemin like a hawk.

  
“God fucking damn it, Renjun,” Jaemin rubs at the scratch marks on his arms. “The kids are gonna be scared of me now, all because of you and your petty ass attitude!”

  
Renjun squints. “The kids?”

  
“His students,” Jeno counters. “He’s a third grade teacher. Remember?”

  
“Oh. I forgot about that.”

  
“Of course you did,” Jaemin hisses. He rolls his eyes. “Whatever. I’m out. Jeno, your roommate is petty as fuck.”

  
Jeno snorts. “Yeah. They are, aren’t they?”

  
Renjun gasps. “Fuck you, Lee! Get the fuck out, go follow Jaemin too if that’s what you want.”

  
Jeno huffs. “Fine!”

5\. I’m sorry.

  
Okay, Jeno knew Renjun was petty, but he didn’t think they were that petty. Not to the point where they literally kicked him out of his own house.

  
He groans. Living with Lee Donghyuck wasn’t exactly ideal for him, since the younger male was often quiet at times and if he was being honest, they weren’t exactly the bestest of friends. Donghyuck was closer to Jaemin, since they had been friends long before Jeno had met Jaemin, and really, Jeno had only known Donghyuck thanks to Jaemin. Ergo, they weren’t too close, just mutual friends.

  
He would’ve gone to live with Jaemin, but the poor teacher was always tired, and Jeno thought he would just annoy the hell out of him and slowly drive him to insanity. Plus, Jaemin made him blush a lot with his random flirting here and there, and Jeno wasn’t ready to face the hard truth and admit to Jaemin (and himself) that he sort of liked the attention his younger best friend gave to him.

  
His only other option was Donghyuck, and he didn’t really have much of a choice other than to live with the artist.

  
“What is it now?” Donghyuck asked, looking up from his canvas (that he had started about two hours ago, yet all he had on it was just dots of black, grey and purple gradients). Jeno shrugs. “It’s Renjun,” he fiddles with his fingers. He takes note of how the blue paint is chipping off of his nails. “I just… I don’t know, I kind of miss them.”

  
Donghyuck is silent. He doesn’t speak, and neither does Jeno. The latter has his attention on his nails. The baby blue that was painted on by Renjun – his closest friend, after Jaemin – was considered to be a sign of friendship, a sign of peace. At least, Jeno considered it to be, but clearly his friendship with the short author has now faltered.

  
Donghyuck sighs heavily. “Just talk to them,” he sets his brush down. “Apologize, or something.”

  
Jeno furrows his brows. “Or something?”

  
Donghyuck waves his hand. “Just go apologize to them, Jeno.”

  
Which is what led him to standing in front of the small house he hadn’t been in for a month. A month. Crazy, but Jeno reckoned that Renjun was a petty hoe.

  
He stutters a breath, and hesitantly knocks on the dark door in front of him. He’s not sure how Renjun will react to him standing in front of their once shared home – Jeno thinks they’ll most likely hiss at him and shut the door in his face – but however they choose to react, Jeno will accept it as an answer because, truthfully, he has no other choice but.

  
The door opens to a squinting Renjun, hair disheveled, clothes wrinkled, and they stare at Jeno before speaking. “Who is this?”

  
Jeno rolls his eyes. “It’s me, Renjun. Can we talk?”

  
Renjun blinks. “Jeno? Holy shit, I haven’t seen your ass in a month,” they rub their eyes to look at him clearer. “Uh, yeah. Come inside, I guess.”

  
Jeno steps in, and he looks around the house. It’s wider, more spacious thanks to the furniture being reorganized. It’s neater, too, and Jeno would’ve appreciated the clean atmosphere if it weren’t for the fact that it seemed a little too perfect.

  
Then again, Renjun did have a problem with perfection. What’s it called– OCD, Jeno thinks that's what it’s called. He can’t really remember though, it’s been a while since Renjun had told him about their small (large) problem.

  
Renjun sits down on the couch. They pat the seat next to them, and Jeno takes it as a sign to sit down.

  
“I don’t want to waste your time, so I’ll just get to the point.” Jeno stares at Renjun, who was staring back, but there was no frustration or hatred behind their eyes. They looked calm, but not in a fake and aggressive way, more of a ‘I just woke up’ way.

  
Jeno inhales. “I’m sorry,” he says, looking down at the wood floor. “I’m sorry for calling you a petty hoe. I know it was wrong. I’m sure you had your reasons for your… actions,” He bit his lip. “Also, I kind of miss you, so…”

  
There’s silence. Jeno doesn’t look up; he’s too afraid of Renjun rejecting him, scrunching their nose up as they yell at him to “get out” all while clawing their long fingernails into his arms.

  
After a long moment of silence, Renjun finally sighs. Jeno takes the chance to look up, and the sight he sees before him is… not pleasant, but not necessarily bad, either. Renjun is rubbing their eyes with their fingertips, brows furrowed, legs crossing as they remove their fingertips and scrunch their nose momentarily before they look at Jeno. They stare at him, and Jeno stares back. They click their tongue before speaking.

  
“God damn it, Lee,” is what Renjun says, and Jeno lets out one of his signature confused sounds as a response. Renjun rolls their eyes. “Come here, you douche.”

  
Jeno scoots over to Renjun. The small author opened their arms, and Jeno smiled at them before lunging himself into their thin arms. Jeno held them tightly, arms wrapped around their thin ribs. It’s this that he missed; the heartwarming hugs, the small (but major) play fights, the loud arguments they would have over the littlest things – that’s what Jeno missed. What he missed was his best friend, his roommate.

  
“It’s fine,” Renjun says. “I missed you a lot, too. I’m just, really petty, I guess,” they laugh. Jeno pulls away.

  
“As much as I do want you to start living here again, I think you know you can’t,” Renjun states, and Jeno hangs his head low. “You have a certain someone to talk to.”

  
“But what if I don’t want to?” Jeno whines. “What if he doesn’t like me and then I have nobody to go to?”

  
Renjun rolls their eyes. “It’s still necessary, Jeno. Besides, I’m moving back to China soon,” they point to the small calendar on the wall across from the couch. “In about a week. This place will be up for sale again, and I don’t want you to live here alone.”

  
Jeno pouts. He already knew Renjun was flying back to China, thanks to Jaemin telling him the news, but that didn’t mean he was happy with it. Their house was where the two lived for years, after they’d graduated from high school, getting away from their judging parents. Jeno remembers how they both agreed to get away somewhere temporarily – which turned into more than a year – to clear out their heads and have some freedom. It sounded cliche to Jeno back then, but he realized it was one of the best decisions they made. Besides, they didn’t go alone. They took Jaemin, too, after Jeno whined about leaving his “number one best friend” behind.

  
Although he reckoned that Renjun technically forced Jaemin into packing his bags and muffling his screams as they dragged him into the car, Jaemin didn’t complain when they explained their reasoning. All he said (shouted) was, “Why didn’t you tell me!”

  
Jeno bites his lip again. “How long are you going to be gone?” He asks. Renjun looks at the floor. “About a year and a half,” they say, a bit too quietly, but Jeno doesn’t mind.

  
“Will I see you when you come back?”

  
“Of course you will.”

  
Jeno nods. He sighs. He really, really doesn’t want to talk to the certain someone, but it’s not like he had much of a choice, with Renjun leaving and selling the house and whatnot. He would stay with Donghyuck, but like stated before, they weren’t close and Donghyuck wasn’t exactly… a nice roommate. He was usually out with his best friend Taeil, leaving Jeno all alone in the tiny house. The house itself was crammy, small and tight, and a bit messy as well, so Jeno didn’t like living there, not one bit.

  
He was grateful for the privacy, though. Kudos to Donghyuck for leaving him alone.

  
“Just talk to him,” Renjun stands up. “It’ll make things a whole lot easier for you two.”

  
“You think so?”

  
Renjun smirks. “I know so.”

  
Jeno stands up with them, running a hand through his hair. He looks toward the door. “Is this goodbye?”

  
“No, not necessarily,” Renjun crosses their arms. “I still have a week until I leave, you know.” They look towards Jeno. “We can spend some time together before I leave. Bring Jaemin and Donghyuck, too,” Renjun scoffs. “Unless you still think I’m a petty hoe.”

  
Jeno groans. “It’s because you are! You literally just proved my point!”

  
Renjun cackles. “Get the fuck out and go talk to him, Lee.”

  
That week was spent with the two friends, along with Jaemin and Donghyuck, spoiling Renjun until they leave for China. Jeno took note of how Donghyuck was the one who spoiled them the most.

  
Jeno also takes note of how even though Donghyuck was generous towards Renjun, they still managed to argue with him over literally anything.

  
Jeno snorts. Renjun is such a petty hoe.

  
6\. (+1) It’s been a while, but you’re finally here.

  
It’s been a year and a half since Jeno last saw Renjun.

  
The last time he saw the small author, they still had their lilac hair, they still wore oversized sweaters, they still had a short temper.

  
It’s been a while, but they’re finally coming back, and Jeno finds himself unable to sleep all night, tossing and turning until 4 a.m.

  
“Why are you moving so much?” Jaemin groans. “Just go to sleep.”

  
“That’s the thing, Jaemin, I can’t,” Jeno sighs, turning on his side so that his back faces the younger. “Renjun comes back tomorrow… Or, today, do you not remember?”

  
Jaemin huffs. “It’s not that big of a deal,” he says, and Jeno scoffs. “What do you mean it’s not that big of a deal?” He sits up and crosses his arms, looking straight at Jaemin. He sort of wishes he didn’t though, because the younger has his resting bitch face on and his collarbones are showing thanks to the oversized shirt he was wearing. His blue hair is disheveled, as well, and Jeno has to clear his throat in order to keep talking.

  
“We haven’t seen them in more than a year, Jaemin. More than a year!”

  
Jaemin rubs his eyes and sits up as well. “So?” He yawns. “That’s not much of a long time, if you think about it. Relax, I’m excited too, but you have to sleep, Jeno.”

  
Jeno pouts. “What if they don’t like me anymore?”

  
Jaemin snorts. “What?”

  
“I mean like, I’ve changed a lot, Jaemin. What are they gonna do when they find out that we–”

  
Jaemin groans, and sits back up, properly this time, crossing his legs and turning his body to Jeno. “Okay, Jeno, first of all, you barely even changed. I think the only thing that’s changed about you is your hair, and the fact that you got top surgery,” Jaemin pokes at Jeno’s chest. “And you even told me that Renjun was the one who told you to talk to me. I don’t think they’ll be surprised when they find out that we–”

  
“Okay, okay,” Jeno interrupts. “I get it. Still, I’m anxious,” he bites on his fingernails. “What if he–”

  
“Alright, Jeno, cut the bullshit,” Jaemin shakes him by his shoulders. “Stop with the “what-ifs”. I’m sure they’ll be happy to see you, like you said before, it’s been a year and a half,” he gently takes Jeno’s hands and intertwines them with his own. “You two are best friends, Jeno. They most likely missed you.”

  
Jeno sighs. He knows Jaemin is right – Renjun had texted him a bit over the course of the year and a half, reminding him that even though they were miles apart, they were still best friends. They’d texted back and forth the first year, but during the last few weeks that Renjun had been staying back in their hometown, they barely texted Jeno. The last they had told him was that they were coming home soon, and Jeno couldn’t even respond, he just stood there while reading the text over and over again.

  
Speaking of which, he probably should’ve texted back by now.

  
“Go to sleep, Jeno,” Jaemin says, voice soft, “It’ll be alright in the morning.”

  
“It’s already morning.”

  
“You know what I mean, Lee.”

  
Jeno smiles. Jaemin smiles back, before pulling him into a tight hug and laying back down. He throws the covers over them, and presses a soft kiss to Jeno’s forehead.

  
Jeno is, actually, able to sleep that night. He found it hard to resist Jaemin’s constant sleepy kisses and warm embrace.

  
He smiles fondly at the memory of Jaemin pressing his lips against every inch of Jeno’s face, ignoring the latter’s giggles and soft pleadings to stop. In reality, Jeno didn’t want him to stop, he quite liked the attention.

  
He’s glad he could admit that to himself.

  
“What’s got you so smiley today?” Donghyuck scoffs. “What, you’re excited to see Renjun?”

  
Oh yeah. Renjun.

  
“Well, that’s not why I was smiling, but yes, Hyuck, I’m excited to see Renjun.” He sticks his tongue out to Donghyuck, who in return does the same. Jaemin laughs next to them. “You two are so childish,” Jeno feels his cheeks burn up at Jaemin’s hand intertwining with his own. “Anyways, I’m curious too, Jeno.”

  
Jeno lets out one of his signature confused sounds. “Curious about what?”

  
“Why are you so smiley today?”

  
Jeno blushes. “Oh, I– Well, I, uh–” he gulps. Jaemin leans in slowly, and he arches his back in order to lean away from the younger. “No reason!” He pushes Jaemin away. Jaemin just grins, and looks back in the large, chattery crowd in the airport.

  
It takes a while for them to spot Renjun. Not only is the crowd way too big to find tiny, short Renjun, the author had warned them that they’d change their hair color. They didn’t explicitly state what color, but Jeno still tried to find them in the huge crowd of tired faces.

  
And then he sees them.

  
Renjun walks out of the crowd, bumping into a few people, wearing a puffy black coat and a small beanie. Underneath the beanie is a few pieces of hair sticking out, the cold lilac is now replaced with a warm pink, bright underneath the sun coming in through the windows. Sitting on the bridge of their nose is a pair of rimless glasses, rays of light bouncing off of the lens as they run with their luggage in hand towards the group of friends.

  
“Injunie!” Jaemin is the first one to run up to them, wrapping his arms around their small figure and trying to give them several kisses, yet failing thanks to Renjun pushing him away. “Stop! Oh my gosh, Jaemin,” they laugh loudly. Jeno notices how Renjun doesn’t screech at Jaemin, like he would’ve done nearly two years ago.

  
Donghyuck calmly walks up to them, trying to seem sly with his squared posture and tilted head. He calmly takes Renjun’s luggage out of their hands, and stands next to the author as he watches Jaemin several attempts at kissing them.

  
Jeno is unable to move at first, biting his lip and worrying momentarily about what Renjun might think of him, but he remembers the pep talk Jaemin gave him four hours ago, so he ends up walking over to the three friends. He waits until Jaemin gives up on trying to give Renjun a kiss to greet the smaller.

  
Renjun laughs, turning to Jeno and smiling widely. “Hey, Donghyuck, thanks. Jaemin, keep your hands to yourself! Jeno–” they stop mid sentence to smile impossibly wider. “Hi, Jeno.”

  
Jeno waves and smiles back. “Hey.”

  
Later, they all settle down in Jaemin (and Jeno’s) kitchen to celebrate Renjun’s return. Jaemin insists on cooking for the other three, and Jeno expected Renjun to sourly refuse the offer and run away, but the small author did the exact opposite. They nodded and gave Jaemin a smile, muttering a soft “thank you” when Jaemin handed them their food.

  
Jeno is taken aback by Renjun’s peaceful aura. This isn’t like them at all, the tsundere, petty hoe he once knew is now replaced with a soft spoken author with fans all over the world. Oh, how Renjun has progressed, their character has gotten majorly better since the last time Jeno saw them.

  
After eating, Jaemin and Donghyuck go to the store to buy a cake (Jaemin was too nice to Renjun, offering them at least their own individual slice, and Renjun simply giggled, pinched Jaemin’s cheek adoringly and nodded. Jeno watched in awe), leaving the two former roommates alone in the small kitchen.

  
“So,” Renjun clears their throat. “I’m guessing you took my advice and talked to Jaemin?”

  
Jeno nods, chuckling a bit. “Yeah,” he smiles at the fond memory of when he had made his way to Jaemin’s home and talked to him. “Yeah, I did.”

  
(“Why do you do… this?” Jeno asks, voice barely a whisper. “What’s so special about me? What’s with the flirting, god damn it?!”

  
Jaemin bites his lip. “I think you know why.”

  
Jeno groans. “I think so, too, but I can’t confirm anything until you tell me yourself, otherwise I won’t know because I’m not you and you’re–”

  
He’s instantly shut up by the feeling of warm lips press against his.)

  
Renjun nods. “Cool…” They take a sip of their sugary soda, wincing a bit before speaking again. “So, are you two…?”

  
Jeno laughs. “Yes,” he sighs in content. “Yes, we are.”

  
Renjun smiles. “I’m glad you’re happy.” They bring the bottle of the off brand soda back up to their lips, but immediately pulls away, grimacing. “Ew. Jeno, do you have water? This is too sugary for me.”

  
“Yeah, we have water,” Jeno doesn’t know what it is that makes his heart flutter, but he guesses it’s the fact that he just referred to his own house as “we” (as in, “Me and Jaemin”) and he jumps up to grab a bottle of water to pass it to Renjun. “Here.”

  
“Thanks.”

  
There’s silence, the only sounds in the room being Renjun’s large gulps and Jeno’s fingers tapping on the table. He turns to the older, waiting until they’re finished drinking their water to speak. “How are things back at home?”

  
Renjun grins widely, and clasps their hands together. “Oh, it was great! I went to my hometown to meet up with my parents to have a talk, and surprisingly, they accepted me. It took them a while to stop deadnaming me, but they got the hang of it after a few months. I visited my cousin and his best friend, and they haven’t changed at all since I last saw them. Chenle’s still short, and Jisung still has his cute little button nose! I stayed in a hotel for a few weeks but my parents insisted on me staying with them and moving back into my old room, so I did. It hasn’t changed at all, it’s the exact same room as it was since I left it in middle school. What else… Oh! And I also published a book! It was the one I worked on for nearly two years. It’s called “Night Terrors,” you should really read it sometime. Anyways, I think that’s it, so yeah.”

  
Jeno’s brows rise at the author’s sudden burst of joy. He laughs. “You seem a lot more happier,” he watches as they take another sip of water. “And more peaceful.”

  
“Yeah, it’s because I am,” Renjun smiles. “Being at home, it made me more… Comfortable. I was finally comfortable in my own skin. I found myself, and I found peace as well. I learned a lot from staying back home. I realized I needed to work on my… Anger issues. I can’t change who I am, but I can definitely change how I act.”

  
Jeno nods. “I’m proud of you,” Renjun grins again. “It must’ve been hard.”

  
“Yeah, it was,” Renjun confirms. “But I had my family surrounding me, so it was a lot easier than it should’ve been.”

  
“Good.” Jeno smiles. “I’m glad you’re better now.”

  
“How about you?” Renjun points at Jeno with their index finger, long fingernail coated in pitch black polish. “How was life while I was gone?”

  
Jeno bites his lip. He smiles softly. “Well, I got top surgery six months ago. The recovery wasn’t that bad, to be honest, I mean, Jaemin was by my side the whole time. I got closer to Donghyuck, like, way closer, and we’re basically best friends now. I moved in with Jaemin, obviously, and I kept dying my hair a lot but then I settled for bleaching it because why not. Made some new friends at the bookstore I work at, their names are Youngho, Doyoung and Jungwoo, you should stop by to meet them sometime, they’re pretty chill. Anyways, life has been good. For the first time in so long, I’m actually enjoying it.”

  
Renjun claps their hands and grins. “That’s great! I’m so happy for you.”

  
“Yeah, me too.” Jeno laughs.

  
After Jaemin and Donghyuck come home, a large box of cake from a bakery nearby in Jaemin’s hands, Renjun and Jeno chatter with the other two, laughing over silly jokes and talking about literally nothing; just like they used to. Except, this time, Renjun didn’t screech at the top of their lungs, Donghyuck didn’t try to fight Renjun, Jaemin didn’t act like a brat and Jeno didn’t call Renjun a petty hoe.

  
For the first time in a year and a half, his former roommate is sitting beside him, in his childhood best friend’s house, with a new addition to their friend group that sits across from them.

  
As Jaemin cuts the cake and Renjun watches with a fond smile on their face, Jeno thinks that maybe, just maybe, Renjun isn’t a petty hoe.

  
“Thank you, Jaemin,” Renjun thanks the blonde haired boy once they recieve their slice. “I appreciate it.”

  
Renjun might not be so bad after all.

**Author's Note:**

> for background information:
> 
> – jeno is an atheist because his parents forced religion onto him to the point where it was traumatizing. he respects religion and people who practice it, however he himself does not want anything to do with it.  
> – renjun is an atheist because they simply believe there isnt a deity up there.  
> – jaemin and donghyuck were friends for four years before jaemin met jeno, in their fifth year of elementary.  
> – renjun left their hometown in eighth grade, and transferred to jenos school without knowing any korean. the reason why they are so close to jeno is because jeno helped them learn korean, and because he was their first friend.  
> – renjun is trans masc non binary. born female.  
> – jenos a trans boy, also born female.  
> – jaemin and donghyuck are cis.
> 
> i hope this was good enough ahh :(( it took a bit to finish because i have so many ffs im working on but its finally here, so yeah! leave a comment or kudos if you'd like :))


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